Tuesday, November 27, 2012


the lord be my shepherd
that I shall not want
but take from me my mentor
and kill my callous front

my youth taught me to beg to you
my faith taught me to fear
my heart told me to follow you
and all this would be clear

my agony roots in your doing
my melting is your word
my apathy falls upon this
the candle dripping on the sword

I tried to find my soul in this
I searched the stars and trees
to find the prayers I gave to you
while you would prey on me

-Joshua Fink

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Your menacing lecture
is nothing to a man with no fear
your crosses and legends
are a stones-throw from fairy tale
I can boil my own
and pour it on myself
for the damage I've done
And all that I'll do
you're reaching in for earthworms
you're casting for an eel
old coffee cups and cigarette butts
the fuel of fire for your meal
stand upon your parishioners
your heel to close their throat
snap a match against your bloodied spurs
ignite the bottom of your coat

you're all vertical stripes
in that suit
witha tall hat and ivory cane
to confuse the small men you beguile

I owe you nothing
but if you whisper your hopes
into my eyes while I sleep
I'll do my best to dream them

They found him in his dark apartment
Laid out on the floor
The dog was licking out the rocks
glass in his hand
Lapping up the melted ice
His old record player was still spinning
But only playing scratch
His eyes lay open
His right hand on his chest
with a smoke burned to the filter

I guess that's how it goes
I guess that's how it goes

She was an all night waitress
She often had to leave her son
unattended in the night
It was a gloomy and foggy early morning
When he found her in the tub
Her hair tousled
Blonde and pink with blood
Each leg hung over the sides
Red speckles in the whites of her eyes
A hand print bruise on her throat

I guess that's how it goes
I guess

You can call her "Janey"
She'd just graduated middle school
And made sure she caught
her crush's baseball game
The stands were full
The summer night
alive in the field's over head high beams and the distant firefly flickers
The echoing crack from the bat
always lead to spectator frenzy
They found her in the woods
Behind the bleachers
Eleven teeth missing
from the left side of her face
Her lips, swollen and busted
Her fingers, filthy from the mud
Turtles nipping at her bare toes
come morning

I guess that's how it goes

Friday, November 23, 2012


Just woke up from the end of the world. It was interesting, and wasn't really the end... maybe just a new beginning. There were big black ashes in the sky from fires that fluttered around like paper confetti and the clouds were strange against the image. Although it was day, where there should have been a sun, the sky beyond the clouds was a night blanketed by stars. And those clouds up there were nameless colors, all with a silver lining gleaming bright behind them. There were things being shot at the world from above each with intention- like organic bombs, like Zeus throwing stones in a pond. They would only take out sections of buildings and things and they'd do it in patterns... but no one was panicked, or at least it didn't last long. I was at the store buying supplies; wine and lots of oranges. I was in a car with my brother and cousin driving to get into a hot air balloon or a zeppelin for evacuation or refuge, something to that affect, weather elevating above all the madness made a difference or not. Our conversation through it all grabbed my attention the most. Hard to explain correctly now... we spoke as if we were one person, with a collective understanding, with authority, humor, and weight, yet our words seemed to float and pop pretty like bubbles between us. Something happened and the world buckled and I woke up in the snow- the controlled chaos had stopped, the world was still- our car had crashed and we were covered in snow. San Francisco was covered in snow. California was. Maybe the world was. And there were two of everyone who survived. I stared back at my mirror and it told me to identify myself.... Then I fell out of sleep.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Jersey City Waterfront, 11/18/12, 2 AM

From this distance
you forget the noise,
the smell of piss
and desperation

You forget all the hustle,
the men begging
for change at the train station

Viewing Manhattan
from Jersey City

is Heaven on Earth;

Eden amongst the ashes

Saturday, November 10, 2012

i've puked 3 times so far this year (Record Breaking)

This thing is a beast
with an insatiable appetite
swallows me whole
leaves no room to argue
I feel like the microwaved leftovers
Less then 1/2 of something much better
the day before

This isn't about what you've said
More about the words that I cant quite digest yet
Something doesn't sit right
Feels funny in the stomach
Choking down nouns and vowels
You've got verb on you face
There's something in your teeth
Adjective debris
And the sentence that says exactly how I feel
Caught in the back of my throat
I could choke to death on it

You were a delicious thought
Just don't say anything out loud
It means nothing
once you form it with your mouth
Gone in the morning
Dirty dishes in the sink
Feel like exploding
A little taste still lingering