nothing of everything

i liked it better in your apartment

when it was summer & it was stifling hot

so hot it made the sidewalks expand

& let the ground breathe

but no, not like me

the stagnancy of your air

made it difficult to stretch my lungs

it’s not anything like that,

no, not anymore

we’re closing in on winter

& you’ll soon be bitter cold

so cold it makes the sidewalks contract

& my first conscious breath will be stolen

when we lie in a bed

so frozen it makes us tremor

& you don’t hold me at night

no, not the way you used to

in the throws of loveless limbs

using yesterday evening’s cigarette butts

to move tonight’s ashes aside

blowing smoke into your ceilings

between sips of whiskey & cider

making sure your poisons are kept pure

i see those other women in your eyes

wearing your lovers’ clothes

& your coughs don’t concern me

cause i’ve got one more smoke than you

& if i could just get inside your head

i’d pack my shit & leave

just remember,

your hair’s gonna fall out

your teeth are gonna rot

your ears will go deaf

your eyes will go blind.

you’ll eventually think yourself to death

which i find foolish

when it’s a hell of a lot easier

to drink yourself dry.