anam ċara

I thought you were crying

because you saw what it was

I was drunk off of seagrams, red wine,

and then some

“Don’t go,” she says.

It’s only now that I see the reasoning

behind your tip-toe smile

in keeping me here

was to see if I had caught on

initially it had crossed my mind

that there was something

good left to hold on to

but now it’s giving me nothing

aside from more incentive

to get the fuck out of this place.

they’ve always been vindictive little bitches

scooping up leftovers, behaving like famished vultures

to leave but a hollow man at my doorstep

begging to come in, just so he can court the maid

the words inked on your soul are self-evident

that those tears of love

were really tears of regret

you probably imagined his hands

sliding up your shirt

maneuvering into your pants

and how it felt when he...

I’m a naive gal

and it’s time to move on

when I take the southwestern route

I’ll continue my education & earn a Masters

I’ll acquire an internship in Hollywood

I’ll work my way up the ladder

with the rest of the rats

I'll direct a feature film & you’ll see my vision

& I’ll travel the world off the beaten path

I’ll stumble upon new romance

nothing to distract him

from my brains and my smile

not like here

where it’s all about looks

& not about substance.

not here,

where your best friends

they tend to become your enemies

I wanna..

start new

where nobody knows me

& I can be just another artsy fuck

strung out on success

I knew there would be secrets,

but not to this degree.

I remember the precise moment it all happened, too

can you tell me why he wasn’t worth it?

I know you know, and you don’t know that I do.

Fuck new jersey.

A letter to all best friends.